7 Years Part Two

In addition to Essiac Tea and Indole 3 Carbinol, I added Castor Oil into my protocol.  I know what you are thinking.  “Castor Oil?!   YUCK!!”  Guess what..I didn’t even drink one drop!  Prior to surgery I actually massaged the it directly into area of the mass.  There is so much more to Castor Oil than you know!  It is one amazing oil in God’s pharmacy.  It is anti-inflammatory, anti-fungal, stimulates the immune system and much more.  Click here for a great resource!

Stay tuned for my next post.  It will include my initial dietary changes and supplementation additions.  In the meantime, below is a snapshot of what was going through my head the night before the lumpectomy.

12/5/2011

Hello Everyone!
I just wanted to take a moment and give you another update. Overall, things are very well. I remember being in a place where I had poured everything I had into everyone and everything around me. There was nothing left, life had no joy. Which of course, is totally WRONG! I began crying out and asking Lord where is my joy?! I am so tired! I began asking for His healing not only inside the home but outside as well. What is so amazing is that He is using cancer as the vehicle to answer my prayers on every level! The Joy of the Lord is here! His healing is all around! All of the preliminary tests are in and there is no additional cancer present in either breast. Amen! I will have to have another MRI in 6mos just to make sure but I am fine with that. Tomorrow, I will be at Mt Hood Medical Center at 10:30 am for a same day procedure. We are moving forward with a lumpectomy along with a lymph node removal and biopsy. Followed by at least 6 weeks of radiation. We are praying that the mass is estrogen dependent and that the lymph node is cancer free. If that is the situation, I will have the radiation plus hormone therapy. If it is not, I will have to have chemo as well. It is also my prayer that God be glorified every step of the way. I want to make sure that I please Him in actions, words and deeds.
Love and Blessings to you all!
Shawn

7 years Part One

I awakened this morning and realized that I am 7 years post cancer! I don’t know if any of you know the Lord Jesus Christ, but I have got to tell you what He has done for me.  There has never been a struggle in my life that He has not prepared me for and walked me through!  Some believe that becoming a follower of Jesus Christ will make life easier.  I am here to tell you.. that so far from the truth! The Lord is quite clear when He says in John 16:33 “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”   There is no better way to celebrate reaching the 7 year milestone than to share with you what the Lord showed me during my healing Journey.

I knew without a doubt that God created my body and everything it needs to function properly.  I knew that I had to incorporate His pharmacy into my healing journey.  The Lord broke my health and wellness journey down into simple components.  Today, I am going to start at the beginning.

Step One:  Nutrition (Supplements/detox)

In the early 90’s a friend of mine (Thanks Wendy) shared with me a book called the Essiac Report.  It is the detailed history of Nurse Rene Caisse  and Essiac Tea.  Essiac Tea is a detox tea that originated with the Ojibwe tribe in Canada.  They used this tea to treat and cure breast cancer for centuries before it was introduced to Rene Caisse. Based on my knowledge of this, I started using this before my official diagnosis.   Here is some more current information about this tea from Ty Bolinger at The Truth About Cancer.

As the same time I began taking Indole 3 Carbinol.  Indole 3 Carbinol comes from cruciferous vegetables and has amazing health benefits!    The Lord blessed me with a amazing support system and below is a message I wrote to them during healing journey.  I pray that it encourages you as much as it still encourages me.

11/20/2011
Hello Everyone!
Praise God for blessing me with the opportunity to speak with you all! I wanted to take a moment and thank you all for you prayer support during this time.
These last couple of weeks have been filled with such incredible and fantastic moments that only God can provide! Moments of struggle, revelation, weakness and release. All in all, the end result is the knowledge, acceptance and understanding of who I am. I am His child, a daughter of Zion. As His child, there are certain expectations I choose to uphold. I am not my own, my body is not my own, it is not my strength that I walk in, but His alone. Everything He has loaned to me for a short amount of time, for His purpose and His glory. 1 Pet 2:5 talks about how we are “living stones..” Can you imagine being purged of your own will and filled with such utter surrender to God? Like a stone is to the builder. The stone doesn’t move itself, but it is the builder who moves it. He is the only one who knows exactly where it needs to be to create a strong and stable structure. The catch here is that we are “living” as well. We must actively choose to die to ourselves and with a whole heart fully trust and surrender to our Lord. I must be willing to travel the road that He chooses, for His names sake. At some time in our lives we reach a point where we see the refining fire before us and we no longer run, but choose to jump in for His glory. This is one of those situations.
I can’t believe it has only been two weeks since the Lord woke Eric and I up at 3:00 am with the same worship song in our spirits. It was about trusting Him. I knew that something was coming, and clearly He wanted us to trust in Him. Of course we began praying immediately. He told us early on that I will be just fine. As you know, I had a biopsy on a mass that was found in my breast. The results came in and I do indeed have breast cancer. It is called Ductal Carcenoma. It is actually, the most common form found in women. It is not an aggressive type, and it was found early. The surgeon was very pleased that she could not detect it at all in the breast. I will be going through an additional scan to see if there are any pre-cancerous cells anywhere else. It is our prayer that the scan comes in clear and final testing after the surgery will be favorable. Favorable meaning no additional treatment, or just 6 weeks of radiation. The surgery is set tentatively for the 6th of December. It is also, our prayer that during this journey healing will touch the lives of those all around us. That through this experience, people will not only come to know Him, but also find liberty and freedom in Him, as well.
God is so good and so amazing! He has blessed us with such great peace. It was a struggle at first, I spent a lot of time rebuking and resisting thoughts that would cause anxiety and steal the peace. Now Eric and I are both resting in that peace! I feel great, full of energy and I have not lost any sleep! We see His hand all over the situation! To God be the glory!
Love and Blessings~
Shawn

Moving Mountains

“…if you have faith as a mustard seed,

you will say to this mountain,

‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move;

and nothing will be impossible for you.”

 Matthew 17:20

There are many times when the storms of life rage and roar around us. We are tossed around like a ship without an anchor. That is, until we stand still and refocus on Christ our Lord.  As long as we focus on Him, it is as if we are protected in the eye of the storm, no longer at the mercy of circumstances, but anchored in Him.  Let me tell you…there is no better Anchor!

I sit here and smile to myself because I remember so clearly driving home on I-84.  It was a gorgeous day, the sky was the most brilliant blue and Mt Hood was magnificent!  You could see every chiseled  angle, and sweeping slope. The shadows added so much depth. It was such a sight that all I could do was praise God for His Divine artistry.  As I gazed at the mountain, I said to my heavenly Father, ” Now Lord, I KNOW that I have faith the size of a mustard seed.  I do not understand, can it really move a mountain?”

Shortly after on a different day, not quite as brilliant but still beautiful. Clouds dotted the sky like fluffy cotton balls.  I noticed how the Lord used the wind to soften and blend the edges of the clouds. It was almost as if he painted across the sky.  I glanced toward Mt Hood and could not see it at all.  I sat in awe!  Amazed at how something as light and airy as the morning mist could literally erase the mountain that I knew stood before me!  “Oh my goodness I get it Lord!! There is such power in having faith.  Not just any old faith, but faith in the one and only living God!  This kind of faith can indeed move mountains!

Let me see..Where did I leave off?   Oh yes! I had Just completed my “second look” This time around something was definitely found.  My faith walk began it’s climb to a whole new level!  The next step… biopsy.

My mom blessed be so much by coming with me to the biopsy. My heart still overflows as I think about it.  You know,  I just have one question. Why are examination rooms so cold and sterile?  They try with their cool “calming” hues of pastel blues and greens.  Walls adorned with hotel paintings of far away places, peaceful scenes or beautiful flowers.  Reality is nothing covers that special smell of “clean” in the air or distracts you from what has to happen.  Only the presence of the Lord had the power to keep me calm.   I must say, the process for me was not as bad as I thought it would be.  I remember the needle and the feeling of it penetrating the mass.  It felt like it was rubbing up against a barrier of some sort.  Other than that, there was no feeling at all.  Today, I realize that I had lost feeling in that area quite some time before.  It is amazing how clear 20/20 hind sight can be!

No Words

Years have passed without a word.  Whispers forever live on the edge of my mind. Precious moments have swept by in the blink of an eye.  The one thing that continuously comes before me is that I must share.  I must share me, my journey, my fears, my heart, my life, my healing.  There are so many layers to peel away.  I will do so, one day at a time, as the Lord leads.

There I was reading the same words over and over.  “We need to have a second look.”  No Words can fully express the feelings and emotions that assaulted me.   My heart and my mind raced.  Lord, what do I do?  I know that I must trust You.  What do I do when fear wells up inside and threatens to overtake me?!  I say out loud “Lord, I trust You!”

The letter clearly advised me not to worry. It explained that a second look does not necessarily mean anything is wrong.   In my mind, the puzzle pieces indicated otherwise.  I knew that I had to stay in front of this. Not knowing what the future moments would bring, my research began.  About 20 years prior to this a good friend of mine named Wendy turned me on a natural detox tea that the Ojibwa tribe in Canada has been using to cure cancer for centuries it is called Flor Essence.  I remember clearly the book she let me borrow it is called The Essiac Report. (https://www.amazon.com/Essiac-Report-Canadian-Thousands-Continues/dp/0963981803) As it turns out, this book was a major catalyst in my life, it sparked my desire to learn more about God’s pharmacy, what it was created for, and how to use for optimal health and wellness.  Needless to say, I started there.  I asked my husband if we could get some.  Cancer is connected to an imbalanced immune system. Logically in my mind, if your immune system can become imbalanced, it can be brought back into balance. So, I said “Ok Lord, how do I put it back into balance?”  Life became an unfocused blur. Within the numbness I did indeed manage pick up some Flor Essence.  I also learned about Indole 3 Carbinol. Indole 3 Carbinol is found in cruciferous vegetables.  It is used in the prevention of various cancers.  It has the ability to neutralize the abnormally reproducing cancer cells. (http://www.webmd.com/vitamins-supplements/ingredientmono-1027-INDOLE-3-CARBINOL.aspx?activeIngredientId=1027&activeIngredientName=INDOLE-3-CARBINOL )

Tuesday morning  I sat in the tiny changing room waiting for my mammogram.  Fear and nausea roiled within me as I waited.  As the nurse led me into the exam room I took everything in, chattering nervously.   I was told not to worry, that “2nd looks” happen all of time.  If they found something, I would then have to have and ultrasound to determine further care.

The process seemed to take forever.  I don’t know,  there is something about having your breast smashed as flat as a pancake with a huge plastic vice grip! I watched as the technician cranked the panels tighter and tighter and immediately went into my lamaze breathing techniques.  I remember thinking “Just relax into it….if something is there you wanna make sure they find it.”

 

Trusting God

On Nov 6, 2011 the course of my life changed forever….

What do you do

when you just don’t understand?

And what do you do

When you just cannot explain?

And what do you say

when you don’t have the answers?

Through it all….

Keep on trusting God.

Deitrick Haddon

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yAXPDDrZrdo 

It was a quiet and still Sunday morning. The darkness of night held us in its peaceful embrace. I was no stranger to the Holy Spirit waking me up in the 3 o’clock hour. It had become a regular prayer time.  Dawn would make its’s appearance over the cascade mountain range in just a few hours.  My spirit was filled with the sounds of a song called “Trusting God” by Deitrick Haddon.  I laid there for a while, immersed in the melody. Carried by its beauty and filled with its anointing. When I could contain it no longer, I began to quietly sing the song.  Imagine my surprise when my husband quietly said “Hey Bay, that song is in my spirit too.”  Alarms went off in my head and I began praying.  “Lord…what is coming?! Why are You telling us to trust You? It has to be really big if You are preparing us like this!”  I began praying over everything and everyone I could think of.  “Lord please, not my husband, he has been through so much.  Please protect my children. In the name of Jesus I resist the plans of the devil in our lives.  Father, I pray over our family…” and so on.  I knew by the end of that prayer session, that all would be revealed before the day’s end.

The day progressed normally and it wasn’t long before the early morning concerns faded deep into the recesses of my mind.  Church was off of the chain!  There is something about being taught by someone who is totally unashamed of who we are in Christ Jesus.  Our Pastor stands on the pure undiluted word of God and boldly teaches it in its entirety.  As we arrived home we decided to stop at the mailbox.  We hadn’t checked it in a few days and thought it would be a good idea.  Once the family was all settled, I began to go through the envelopes.   My heart stopped as I looked at an envelope from Portland Adventist.

I immediately flashed back to a Sunday service during Breast Cancer Awareness Month.  My son looked at me and said “Mom, have you had your mammogram?”  As it turns out, I had not.  I should have had it 6 months before. 

I snapped back to the present and began to open the envelope.  Time stood still as I read the letter.  The mammogram revealed something.  They were informing me that I needed to come in for a second look.  The time had come.  I knew without a doubt that this was the reason for our 3 am wake up call. I was filled with the fear of the unknown. I cried in my spirit “Lord, what do I do now?”  My answer was loud and clear.  Keep on trusting God.

Salt and Stone

The question “WHO are you going to be?” continued to weigh heavily on my heart.  So I asked, “Lord, who do YOU say I am?”  

“You are the salt of the earth; but if the salt has become tasteless, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled under foot by men.”  Matt 5:13

Hmm…I said to myself …..salt.   I am reminded of a story my husband told me when he arrived home from Iraq.  He said that when it rains in the Iraqi desert, the water collects on the sand.  When it evaporates, it leaves behind salt deposits. The Iraqi citizens then gather the salt and sell it in the market place.  Even in this day and age, salt continues to have worth and value.  During the course of history, it has been used to enhance and improve the natural flavors of food.  Salt was used as a preservative, as well as currency.  The light bulb turned on!  I realized that since I am the salt of the earth  I am also, worthy and valuable.  I am meant to help preserve and season the earth.  I am also subject to the very present danger of becoming tasteless.   How does salt lose it’s flavor?  After researching, I found out that one of the ways salt loses its flavor is by diluting it in water.  What does this mean for me?  It means that every time I compromise the word of God, I dilute myself.  When I am complacent, I am diluting myself.  When I conform to the ways of this world, I am diluting myself, and the more tasteless I become.  

I had reached my moment of truth, MY crossroads.  I could take the wide road which, quite frankly, seems much easier. After all, the vast majority will choose this direction, and all I would have to do is go with the flow. On the other hand, I could take the narrow road and go against the current.  It is much less traveled and more difficult, but the reward is greater.  The Holy Spirit then reminded me of my favorite scripture.   

“…you also, as living stones, are being built up as a spiritual house for a holy priesthood, to offer up spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ.” 1 Peter 2:5

My focus landed on the phrase living stones.  What does that mean?  A stone is solid, strong and has no will of its own.  It is totally and utterly dependent on the Builder to move it where it needs to be.  What a wonderful example of surrender!  The word for living in the original greek text is zao (dzah’-o). It is a verb, an action word meaning to live.  To be a living stone is to continually live a life utterly dependent, obedient and surrendered to God the Father.  Because I have been blessed with the gift of free will, I must actively choose this life, this level of surrender.   Can you imagine being as surrendered to God our Father, as the stone is to the builder?  Choosing to move only when and where He directs?

So….what is my answer to the question “Who am I going to be?” I can say without a doubt, that I AM a living stone, chosen by God , set apart for His purpose.  I have worth and value that God Himself gave to me and no one can take away.  I actively choose to relinquish my own will for the will of my Father.  I choose to stand firmly and boldly on His word, for His name’s sake, and His kingdom purpose.  Where ever that may take me.

Challenges, Choices and Decisions

I remember so clearly the days after that prayer.  Life continued to swirl at a supersonic pace. My roles of wife, mother, full-time student and childcare provider became blurred beyond distinction.  In the undercurrent of it all was a still, small whisper, a “knowing”, that something was not quite right.  The word “cancer” would dimly appear in my spirit from time to time.  It was like a ripple faintly moving across the borders of my mind.  The sensation was strong enough to detect but, yet so slight that I questioned its validity.   I have never spoken to anyone about this, you are the first to know.   I really just did not want to give it a voice. 

From April through July, I was challenged with the question, “Who are you going to be?”  My spirit cried out “Lord, I don’t understand! We are chosen, set apart, for Your possession. (1 Pet 2:9) We have to live in this world, but not be a part of it.  Father, everything about who we are is under attack!  I feel the pressure all around me!  Lord, where are Your chosen ones? Why does the body of Christ remain silent?”  Echos of  Romans 12:2 reverberated through every fiber of my being. “….do not be conformed to this world…..do NOT be conformed to this world….do NOT be CONFORMED to this world..” 

I replied, “Oh my gosh Lord! What does that  look like?!” The Holy Spirit proceeded to show me.  I was inundated with scenes of compromise under the guise of “political correctness”. “Christians” disregarding the undiluted word of God, in the name of choice.  Twisting His Word, for their own gain. Participating in activities that clearly do not adhere to biblical principles.  Following leadership whose mouths state Christian beliefs but  actions say otherwise.  I willingly stood naked before the throne of God under intense self-examination.  I asked my heavenly Father to reveal to me where I have conformed. Have I placed people or things before You?  Have I kept silent when I should have spoken up for You?  Have I supported any movements that are blatantly offensive to You?  There was nothing that was off-limits.  All the while, I kept hearing the question.  “Who are YOU going to be?”